As a number of you know…because I shot out a note on Twitter…I did a photo shoot for my first commercial client. I have been encouraged by the number of requests for prints (singles and series). Recently, though, a representative for a company saw some of my images and inquired about using me for a shoot. My heart leaped and a lump grew in my throat. Can this be? Is this really my first request for a commercial shoot? Of course, it was coupled with nervous thoughts. “Do they really want me?” “Am I good enough for this?” Fortunately, I put those nerves and jitters on the shelf and accepted the job.

I tried to read as much as I could about negotiating fees and determining what rights would convey and those I would retain. I’m sure, like many others, my first contract negotiation was generous. I don’t mind, though. The bigger picture for me is that this shoot marks, what I hope is, a step in the direction I would like my professional photography career to take.  That is, editorial/commercial photography.

Once all the paperwork was taken care of, my thoughts immediately turned to executing the shoot. I’ve been to a few photography studios recently, but, thankfully, my friend Sarah Mattingly graciously let me do the shoot in her studio. Not only did Sarah allow me use the space, she bent over backwards to help me set up and using studio lighting. I cannot thank Sarah enough for all her help and encouragement! While I can’t reveal the images from the shoot yet, I should be able to post some soon, or at least provide a link to client’s site where they will be used.

Inspired by Chase Jarvis, here are some videos shot on the day of the shoot, captured on my Canon G10. (I am making a mental note to pick up a Flip HD camera–or borrow my friend’s D90. The image perfectionist in me would like the video quality to be better.)

My intent was to shoot some behind-the-scenes shots to share my experience. Naturally, I got a little caught up in the shoot and didn’t do as much video as I had hoped. You’ll notice that I didn’t get to show you what gear I was working with.

I did all the shots with my Nikon D300. I had several lenses with me, but ended up shooting with a Nikon 18-135mm f/3.5-5.6G IF-ED. I kept the focal length nearly 50mm. (I SO need to get a 50mm 1.4!) Sarah’s beautiful studio is equipped with a number of AlienBees flash units and Pocket Wizard transmitters. We used three flash units on the shoot. One unit was used exclusively on the near-white studio wall to produce a clean white background.

On an aside, I must admit that I engaged in a fair amount of daydreaming while in Sarah’s studio. Someday, I would love to have a space like hers to call my own.

All told, I shot about 300 images. I narrowed the number down to 60 for the client’s contact sheets. I’m happy to report that the client was extremely happy with the proofs and asked for final processing of nearly 1/2 of the images provided.

What a great way to end 2009! I am hope this is just the beginning of what will be many opportunities in 2010.

Happy New Year!

photo shoot

While I work on a post about the oft-overlooked aspect of becoming a professional photographer — it’s a business — I thought I would put up a more lighthearted piece.

A couple of years ago, I was introduced to the term “bastard lenses” by a pro. He dropped that term after I rattled off a descriptions of  lenses in my lineup. He was right. I had a hodgepodge of lenses acquired when I was buying film camera from people on Craigslist. The are decent lenses, at best, but as I shot more and more it became apparent that I was/am working with some pretty average glass.

Last year, I bought a Nikon 105 f/2.8 micro lens.  Wow! Talk about having your eyes, quite literally, opened to a whole new level of quality. I love this lens. Subsequently, I am on a mission to fill out my lens family with similar glass.  Accordingly, here’s my wish list.

Nikon 12-24mm f/4G IF-ED AF-S DX

Nikon 24-70mm f/2.8G ED

Nikon 70-200mm f/2.8G ED-IF AF-S VR

Nikon 50mm f/1.4G

It wouldn’t be a proper wish list if I didn’t include the full-frame bodies I would love to have in my bag.

Nikon D3X

Nikon D700

I would have listed the D3 instead of the D700, but I would like to have two different-sized full frame bodies. I have the D300, which is pushing the envelop on totability, so the D700 would at least have the relative weight and feel.

I know there’s a big movement to incorporate video capabilities with the DSLR bodies. Honestly, I’m not that interested in shooting video with my DSLR, and am perfectly comfortable using my G10 to capture video. (Of course, I may eat those words at some point in the future, but this is about where I am today.)

So there it is. Know anyone feeling rather benevolent with about $16k?

bodies, gear, lenses

I have to state, at the outset, that I am especially grateful to so many of you that reached out to me after my last blog piece. It was really encouraging to receive comments and emails offering support, feedback, advice, and even a few admonishments. Please accept my sincere thanks. With so many blogs, social media, and things to read, generally, these days, I am humbled that you find time to read mine.

As is the case with many people, I am my own toughest critic. Sometimes … too tough. I think what makes things seem tough is that I feel like I am kind of winging it. I would like to think that I am akin to a self-taught chef.  Someone who picks up skills on his own. Of course, what can happen with self-taught professionals is that they can become inefficiently proficient. Meaning, in spite of some bad habits or methods, they get the job done–often well. I think the thing for me is that I am a bit of a perfectionist, and get bogged down in thinking that I must completely master something before revealing my involvement or attempting to demonstrate my skills.

Your comments and e-mails reminded me of what one of my old bosses used to say to me. “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good enough.” This was his rather subtle way of asking me to give him what I had, and not hold it forever attempting to reach perfection. I had to let go at some point. The funny thing  was that my “good enough” work was usually pretty darn good. The lesson from that experience, clearly, continues to get lost with me.

There is a thing called “impostor syndrome.” In a nutshell, it’s a fear suffered by many people, often highly talented, that they are not actually capable of performing or sustaining work at a high level. They fear that any praise or recognition received is ill-gotten or a mistaken. Funnily enough, people who suffer from this insecurity tend to work extremely hard to compensate for what they believe is their shortcomings . The common result is that they perform extremely well; which, ironically results in them receive more praise and tougher assignments. It’s a emotional vicious circle.

I suspect that’s what’s going on, to some extent, with my photography. In spite of positive positive feedback, recognition, awards, or even requests (by people willing to pay) for my images, somewhere in my subconscious I’m thinking “You want me? Really?”

I need to get over this quickly. Recently, I was asked to take photos for a web-based newsletter promoting a commercial product. Uh oh. Do I have enough experience and knowledge of lighting to pull this off? Do I have the right equipment? Did I charge too much, too little?

You see how this quickly spirals? At the heart of this “impostor” is a fear, related to photography, that there is just so much I feel that I don’t know. Clearly, with so much to learn, I could in no way be a professional…right? I know all the right answers, but it’s much easier to know it than to apply it.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being modest or humble about your work, but I do recognize that I can hold myself out where am I and still grow. I have to truly realize that it’s not a static, either-or proposition.

So, I have enlisted the help of a fellow photographer for the commercial product shoot. What’s clear to me is that instead of sitting back and losing myself in the emotion of ineptness, I need to stay focused; look at what my friend is doing; and learn. The next shoot will be more about the client’s need and less about my background “stuff.” I am incredibly excited, and scared witless, about this job. Most of the concern, though, is wanting to deliver a stellar product for the client.

I’m sure it will all balance out, and these various experiences and challenges are opportunities for me to grow as a photographer–and a person. If you’ve recently started out, or have been in the business for a while, I would really like to hear about experiences. Though you may not have been dogged by the same doubts and fears, there is always a challenge establishing yourself. How did you feel when you turned over proofs to that first client?

I welcome your thoughts and advice.

career, confidence, fears, professionalism