Posts in Category: social media

i am opting out of social media

photo credit: eddy joaquim

Almost two years ago, I can’t believe it’s been that long, I reached a trou­bling point in my life of infor­ma­tion over­load. I decided at that time to take a social media sab­bat­i­cal. It was one of those things where I was care­ful look at my issues, and not lay blame on some­thing or some­one. I felt that tak­ing some time off from social media would help me focus and hone in on what dri­ves my rather com­pul­sive online, social media engage­ment. After three months, I made a return to social media. At the time, I felt like I had gained some per­spec­tive, and would be much bet­ter about lim­it­ing the time and energy put into ser­vices like Face­book, Twit­ter, and Google Buzz (now Google+). I don’t know if I would go so far as to say that I had con­curred my demons, so to speak, but I had the inten­tion of being more aware of time spent on social media, and even attempt­ing to set up more struc­tured pat­terns for my activity.

Fast for­ward to June 2012, and I feel that I am tee­ter­ing between the same space I found myself in 2010 and a place that’s a bit fur­ther down into the rab­bit hole. Like before, it’s not really as easy as say­ing that I woke up one morn­ing with a glow­ing light bulb over my head. No. The impulse or desire to jet­ti­son social media from my every­day life has been build­ing for a while. The dri­vers have been varied.

Per­haps I saw this com­ing. When I made my return to social media, I wrote the following:

I reached a burn out point with social media, and though I’m return­ing, it’s def­i­nitely with a cau­tious approach. I may, in the end, decide that the return only con­firmed that my time off was the right thing to do, and I’ll just shut the whole thing down and return to call­ing and email­ing my friends.

Here is my take on the social net­works that con­sume way too much of my time and atten­tion span.

Face­book
Face­book has prob­a­bly become the cen­ter of love/hate rela­tion­ship with social media. I can’t, and don’t, blame Face­book for my com­pul­sive check-in issue. That’s my stuff and I have to own it. What I’ve come to hate, though, is Facebook’s grow­ing watch­ful eye and per­va­sive fin­ger­print on, seem­ingly, every­thing that I do online. Nearly every site, includ­ing this blog, has Face­book tie-ins. That’s fine, but what has really started to sour me on Face­book is the need to have a Face­book account to func­tion online. There are a num­ber of sites that require you to have a Face­book account to com­ment on arti­cle. The real kicker was Spo­tify requir­ing a Face­book account to join. The com­pany says that it’s all about being social with music. I can see the ben­e­fit of want­ing to share music I like with oth­ers, but Face­book should be an add-on, not a require­ment. The only way I could see hav­ing a Face­book account to join a site is if Face­book owned the ser­vice — such as Insta­gram. I love that I am able to keep up with fam­ily and friends on Face­book, but I’ve reached a point where the ben­e­fit is start­ing to be over­taken by the neg­a­tives of the site itself.

Twit­ter
I made a con­scious effort to remove peo­ple that I kept up with on Face­book, namely because their posts were redun­dant. I have always viewed Twit­ter more as a news ticker, and less of a means to keep tabs on friends and fam­ily. The issue with news tick­ers is that, unless it repeats, you miss stuff when you’re away. Of course, I can always use the search fea­ture in Twit­ter to find spe­cific peo­ple and their posts. Like­wise, I can cre­ate spe­cific tabs within Hoot­Suite to fol­low indi­vid­u­als or par­tic­u­lar top­ics. At some point, Twit­ter because an inter­est­ing place to pop in, see what’s hap­pen­ing, click a few links, and pop out. The prob­lem, how­ever, became that I was not prac­tic­ing the last part. I didn’t pop out. I’d keep Twit­ter open in a tab all the time, and click into it more and more.

Google+
Google Buzz was an inter­est­ing ser­vice, but it was a bit too one-off for most peo­ple. Google never really seemed to know what it wanted Google Buzz to be. A lot of early adopters jumped on board, but even we openly com­plained. It appears that Google took note, and used some of the ele­ments of Buzz to develop Google+. In my eyes, Google is build­ing some­thing really com­pelling in the social media space. Google+ allows you, with ease, to share things with one per­son, a select group or groups (known as Cir­cles), or pub­licly. Noti­fi­ca­tions are really well done, and you can mute posts if you’re tired of get­ting updates. The treat­ment of pho­tos on Google+ is far bet­ter than on any other social plat­form. The Hang­out fea­ture is a great way to video chat with one or up to 10 peo­ple at the same time. Finally, for the gram­mar nerd in me, one of the best fea­tures of Google+ is the abil­ity to edit your posts and com­ments at any time.

Google+ actu­ally is the one place where I am going to make a caveat to my with­drawal from social media. I have been work­ing to get all of my cousins, spread out through­out coun­try, on Google+ so that we can do Hang­outs and share sto­ries and pho­tos. We could prob­a­bly do all of this Skype and our own web­site, but I don’t know if it’s worth it to rein­vent the wheel. I may just “Uncir­cle” every­one except my fam­ily. Any­thing that I share will just be with fam­ily. So, in essence, we will use Google+ as our intra-family social media net­work. Maybe some may view this as a cheat or a fudge of my social media opt-out; but I’m will­ing to live with this exception.

Other Net­works
There are other net­works that have, inter­mit­tently, cap­tured my atten­tion. One net­work in par­tic­u­lar, though, has become a burr in my saddle.

LinkedIn

Some peo­ple my debate whether LinkedIn is a social net­work, because it brands itself as a pro­fes­sional net­work­ing site. That’s find and I get the qual­i­fier, but in my mind it’s still a social net­work. I am not short-sighted about pro­fes­sional net­work­ing, even if I am not look­ing for a job; but I just don’t see, and have not seen, any tan­gi­ble ben­e­fit for my pres­ence on LinkedIn. The major­ity of peo­ple that want to con­nect with me are look­ing for an angle or con­nec­tion into where I work — a fed­eral reg­u­la­tory agency. Most of the con­nec­tion requests are trans­par­ent, and offer no sub­stan­tive value.

Going For­ward

Start­ing some­time between now and July 1st, I will be delet­ing my pro­files on Face­book, Twit­ter, Google+, LinkedIn, Tum­blr, Flikr, Last.fm, Spo­tify, and any other sites that I have failed to men­tion. Now, fully expect a num­ber of peo­ple, react­ing to my with­drawal from social media, to say some­thing like this,

Why do you have to leave social media? Why don’t you just check in less?

My knee-jerk reac­tion is, “It’s my deci­sion. I’m not judg­ing you for stay­ing, so don’t judge me for leav­ing.” The more mea­sured and thought­ful response is that — and I, in no way, want to triv­i­al­ize what alco­holics or drug addicts go through — I feel like I have to treat social media like an addic­tion. Try­ing to reduce my intake is not work­ing. I have to step away com­pletely. Chalk it up to my per­son­al­ity or the way my brain is wired, but I just don’t feel good. I am tired of con­stantly check­ing in, and then feel­ing guilty about all the time spent engaged in that activ­ity. In the end, there’s a dif­fer­ence between going online and liv­ing online. I’ve spent way too much time doing the lat­ter, and social media is the pri­mary rea­son. I’m tired, and I need to pull off of the road.

Beyond the the gen­eral push-and-pull pangs of guilt over my time spent on social media, I feel like I have mas­tered the art of hav­ing knowl­edge of things that is a mile wide and an inch deep. I don’t spend any time get­ting to know more than the sur­face of any par­tic­u­lar thing. My knowl­edge is cur­sory. To be hon­est, I like feel­ing knowl­edge­able and being able to engage in a con­ver­sa­tion about many things. The prob­lem, how­ever, is that once I get past the sur­face knowl­edge, I resort to intel­li­gent spec­u­la­tion. While I’d like to think that I am quite adept at tying things, even dis­parate things, together; there’s a nag­ging lack of sat­is­fac­tion know­ing that I am only scratch­ing the sur­face of issues discussed.

To that end, want to focus more of my time read­ing. I feel as if I need to actu­ally train my brain and body to sit still and read. Be it books, long-form works or short arti­cles, I am out of prac­tice of keep­ing my eyes glued to some­thing longer than minute at a time. Carla and I were out walk­ing on Sat­ur­day, and we passed the neigh­bor­hood DC Pub­lic Library near our house. I men­tioned to her that in all my years in the neigh­bor­hood I had never stepped foot inside that build­ing. No sooner did I speak those words than I decided that I am going to go in and get a library card. Talk about a throw-back con­cept. I also sub­scribed to the daily print ver­sion of The Wash­ing­ton Post and Sun­day New York Times. I was encour­aged that every­one in the house seems to be enjoy­ing the paper. It makes me smile to walk down­stairs and see Noah sit­ting on the couch read­ing the paper.

An edi­tor for one of my favorite tech web­sites, The Verge, is tak­ing a year off of the Inter­net. You can read his post about leav­ing the Inter­net here. I must admit that I first saw Paul’s move a tad self-indulgent. How­ever, I have grown to admire what he’s doing, par­tic­u­larly as I have started to think about the grow­ing sense of being over­whelemed. I read Paul’s arti­cles about life with­out Inter­net with some inter­est (click here to find his install­ments), the prospect of opt­ing out of the Inter­net is just a non-starter. Not because I don’t think that I could sur­vive, but sim­ply because my job requires access to the Inter­net. The same can be sound about the back­ground stuff that I do for Carla’s busi­ness (web­sites, Google Apps & e-commerce). Addi­tion­ally, I rely on the Inter­net for stream­ing video con­tent, and with­out cable, I’m not will­ing to give that up.

I will con­tinue to write on this blog — hope­fully more. There may be some peo­ple who will ask, or want to know, why I have the two rows of shar­ing but­tons below each post. My answer is sim­ple. I am leav­ing social media, not you. If you see some­thing you like doesn’t mean you are. Share away.

In the next cou­ple of days I am going to delete the social media icons from my con­tact page. One thing that will remain is my email. Feel free to con­tact me. If you know me well, you have my phone num­ber. Please drop me a line any­time. (Well, within rea­son­able. I typ­i­cally don’t answer the phone before 10 am or after 10 pm on Sat­ur­days and Sundays.)

a king’s speech meet-up

I would like to see The King’s Speech this week­end. (I have been dying to see it for weeks.) I thought that I would mark my return to social media by see­ing if I can drum up a group of peo­ple to see it together. A movie meet-up. It’s show­ing at a num­ber of the­aters around town, but the the Land­mark E Street Cin­ema seems like a con­ve­nient cen­tral loca­tion. I’m flex­i­ble about the­ater, though, and we decide based on who wants to do the meet-up. The one catch, how­ever, is that movies typ­i­cally turn on Fri­days, so I’m not quite cer­tain that it will still be there. Nev­er­the­less, if you’re inter­ested in join­ing me to see the movie with me, leave a note in the com­ments. Hope­fully, we’ll get a good group together. Maybe after the movie we could get some­thing to eat or grab a drink and dis­cuss the movie.

returning to social media

After three months, my social media sab­bat­i­cal is offi­cially over.

Inter­est­ingly enough, when I unplugged at the begin­ning of Sep­tem­ber, I was cer­tain that I would be sit­ting in a cor­ner like a crack addict, itch­ing to post a sta­tus update. While I can­not say that I didn’t have some­thing akin to with­drawal symp­toms at first, the obsessive/compulsive urge to check in fell off rather quickly. To tell the truth, being away from social media was quite lib­er­at­ing. With­out the ben­e­fit of Face­book or Twit­ter, I was forced to actu­ally pick up the phone and call peo­ple if I wanted, or needed, to have a sub­stan­tive con­ver­sa­tion. Email is pretty much still my default method of com­mu­ni­ca­tion, but it was nice to hear people’s voices — par­tic­u­larly the laugh­ter. There is absolutely no com­par­ing “LOL” to hear­ing the heart-felt laugh of a fam­ily mem­ber or friend. In fact, just last week my buddy Dotch and I shared some­thing that, in the scheme of things, was rather mun­dane, but we must have laughed for five min­utes straight. Had I made the joke in an email, text mes­sage, IM chat, or on Face­book, it just wouldn’t have been the same.

This exchange led me to ques­tion just why I was jump­ing back into the fray. It’s as sim­ple as this: there are just as many peo­ple that I don’t get a chance to talk to dur­ing my time off and I miss them. Social media is a good way to keep up with more peo­ple than I have time to call. I think what I’ve learned from my sab­bat­i­cal is not to lean to heav­ily on Face­book and Twit­ter for inter­ac­tion with friends. It can­not serve as a sub­sti­tute for a phone call, an email, or, more impor­tantly, face-to-face time. The con­ve­nience of social media, at least for me, lends itself to the dis­con­nect. I don’t think this issue is lim­ited to me, but I won’t project.

As I sus­pected, the things that I did miss were dif­fer­ent for each mode of social media. Face­book pro­vided the more per­sonal updates about friends, their kids, and fam­ily that I appre­ci­ate. Twit­ter had become my news ticker. With­out Twit­ter, I found that I merely spent more time online scan­ning news sites and blogs. Google Buzz served as my out­let for engag­ing in sub­stan­tive dis­cus­sions and debates. This void was filled with forums and blogs.

As I men­tioned in my piece when I signed off, I real­ized that social media was really the symp­tom — not the dis­ease. I am eas­ily dis­tracted, and it was prob­a­bly too con­ve­nient to blame social media for my per­sis­tent habit of check­ing in.

With that said, the time off was a great breather. If you log into Face­book and/or Twit­ter mul­ti­ple times a day, I sug­gest that you try tak­ing a break. For me, it helped put things into per­spec­tive. As I return to the social media sphere, I have an idea about how I plan to re-engage. Much like just about every­thing in our lives, there has to be bound­aries and lim­its. I think what friends will see is that my engage­ment will now be much more pre­dictable. No longer will I be drop­ping into Face­book through­out the day. Twit­ter is a lit­tle dif­fer­ent, because I still see it as akin to peek­ing in on the news. The key is to peek in, do a quick scan and then move on. Google Buzz, which tends to require more of my atten­tion, is some­thing that will have be reeval­u­ated. Even when I logged off, there was some dis­cus­sion about its longevity. Per­haps time has resolved that debate. Google Buzz is either going strong or inter­est and par­tic­i­pa­tion is waning.

As I sit here typ­ing, it occurs to me that I don’t really have any­thing too pro­found to share. I’m sure many of you have thought about, if not acted on, these this issue. I reached a burn out point with social media, and though I’m return­ing, it’s def­i­nitely with a cau­tious approach. I may, in the end, decide that the return only con­firmed that my time off was the right thing to do, and I’ll just shut the whole thing down and return to call­ing and email­ing my friends. That’s actu­ally my pref­er­ence any­way. (I never under­stood why peo­ple sent me mes­sages through Face­book when they knew my phone num­ber and/or email address.)

I’m happy to answer ques­tions, if you have them. Oth­er­wise, that’s it. No great fan­fare. Just a quiet reen­try into the fold. So, with­out fur­ther ado, here’s where to find me in the social media space.

If you fol­lowed me on Twit­ter before my exit, you’ll need to find me again. Unlike Face­book, I couldn’t deac­ti­vate my Twit­ter account. It’s pretty much an all or noth­ing propo­si­tion. Google Buzz appears to have retained who I fol­lowed, and those who fol­lowed me.

micro-blogging: posterous

A num­ber of my friends use Pos­ter­ous, the micro-blogging site that allows you to post eas­ily from the site directly, or by email. Pos­ter­ous has tight inte­gra­tion with a num­ber of social media sites so users can share their posts. In case you’re not famil­iar with micro-blogging, think of it as if Twit­ter and a full-sized blog had a baby. Though some peo­ple use mirco-blogs for long-format posts, most use it as place to post ran­dom thoughts, pic­tures, links and other mis­cel­la­neous things that occur in the course of their daily lives.

I’m admit­tedly a bit par­tial to Word­Press, but I  did kinda-sorta try Pos­ter­ous. The same goes for Tum­blr, a com­pet­ing micro-blogging site. It was, how­ever, at a time when I was work­ing on con­tract­ing my dig­i­tal pres­ence, and I just couldn’t take on post­ing to another site. The funny thing, though, is that Pos­ter­ous and Tum­blr are prob­a­bly ideal for the type of ran­dom thought blog­ging I some­times do. There are a lot of great blog­gers on Pos­ter­ous and Tum­blr.  To get a glimpse of what peo­ple are doing on Pos­ter­ous, check out this link. Like­wise, check out the cre­ative stuff on Tum­blr. (

Visit the mobile sec­tion of the Pos­ter­ous site to get an app for your iPhone or Android device — which was just added today — so you can post on the fly.

seesmic for android update

Even though I am in the midst of a social media sab­bat­i­cal, I still keep up with what’s hap­pen­ing in the tech side of social media. When it comes to Twit­ter, I think that Seesmic is one of the bet­ter clients out there. (desk­top, web-based and mobile)

In the mobile space, Seesmic for Android just got a lot bet­ter with some recent updates, includ­ing an improved user inter­face. Check out the video to see the improvements.

If you’re on Twit­ter, what is your pre­ferred way to access Twit­ter on your com­puter? Native Twit­ter? Tweet­Deck? Seesmic? Hoot­Suite? Briz­zly?  What Twit­ter app do you use on your smartphone?