I have to state, at the outset, that I am especially grateful to so many of you that reached out to me after my last blog piece. It was really encouraging to receive comments and emails offering support, feedback, advice, and even a few admonishments. Please accept my sincere thanks. With so many blogs, social media, and things to read, generally, these days, I am humbled that you find time to read mine.

As is the case with many people, I am my own toughest critic. Sometimes … too tough. I think what makes things seem tough is that I feel like I am kind of winging it. I would like to think that I am akin to a self-taught chef.  Someone who picks up skills on his own. Of course, what can happen with self-taught professionals is that they can become inefficiently proficient. Meaning, in spite of some bad habits or methods, they get the job done–often well. I think the thing for me is that I am a bit of a perfectionist, and get bogged down in thinking that I must completely master something before revealing my involvement or attempting to demonstrate my skills.

Your comments and e-mails reminded me of what one of my old bosses used to say to me. “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good enough.” This was his rather subtle way of asking me to give him what I had, and not hold it forever attempting to reach perfection. I had to let go at some point. The funny thing  was that my “good enough” work was usually pretty darn good. The lesson from that experience, clearly, continues to get lost with me.

There is a thing called “impostor syndrome.” In a nutshell, it’s a fear suffered by many people, often highly talented, that they are not actually capable of performing or sustaining work at a high level. They fear that any praise or recognition received is ill-gotten or a mistaken. Funnily enough, people who suffer from this insecurity tend to work extremely hard to compensate for what they believe is their shortcomings . The common result is that they perform extremely well; which, ironically results in them receive more praise and tougher assignments. It’s a emotional vicious circle.

I suspect that’s what’s going on, to some extent, with my photography. In spite of positive positive feedback, recognition, awards, or even requests (by people willing to pay) for my images, somewhere in my subconscious I’m thinking “You want me? Really?”

I need to get over this quickly. Recently, I was asked to take photos for a web-based newsletter promoting a commercial product. Uh oh. Do I have enough experience and knowledge of lighting to pull this off? Do I have the right equipment? Did I charge too much, too little?

You see how this quickly spirals? At the heart of this “impostor” is a fear, related to photography, that there is just so much I feel that I don’t know. Clearly, with so much to learn, I could in no way be a professional…right? I know all the right answers, but it’s much easier to know it than to apply it.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being modest or humble about your work, but I do recognize that I can hold myself out where am I and still grow. I have to truly realize that it’s not a static, either-or proposition.

So, I have enlisted the help of a fellow photographer for the commercial product shoot. What’s clear to me is that instead of sitting back and losing myself in the emotion of ineptness, I need to stay focused; look at what my friend is doing; and learn. The next shoot will be more about the client’s need and less about my background “stuff.” I am incredibly excited, and scared witless, about this job. Most of the concern, though, is wanting to deliver a stellar product for the client.

I’m sure it will all balance out, and these various experiences and challenges are opportunities for me to grow as a photographer–and a person. If you’ve recently started out, or have been in the business for a while, I would really like to hear about experiences. Though you may not have been dogged by the same doubts and fears, there is always a challenge establishing yourself. How did you feel when you turned over proofs to that first client?

I welcome your thoughts and advice.

career, confidence, fears, professionalism